Monday Morning Blues

Did you wake up this morning feeling all depressed because you have to go back to work after have a nice relaxing weekend at home with your family? Have you got to drive through rush hour traffic trying to avoid all the other depressed souls out there, each one looking so miserable that you’d think their world was just about to end? Every one of them in so much of a hurry to get to work, just so they can start complaining about how they hate Mondays. You could be one of the unlucky ones that get to go to work on the train, having to squeeze yourself into a stuffy carriage packed with miserable commuters and noisy students that have no consideration for anyone but themselves. Then you end up being late for work because the train couldn’t stick to its timetables. If this is you then I feel for you. I am just SO glad that I’ve left all that behind.

Although, even though I don’t have to travel to work, the journey indoors can be just as stressful. Take this morning for example; after getting out of bed I had to squeeze myself through a narrow doorway. A lot of concentration is needed here, if you’re not driving in a straight line you could end up having a nasty accident and get severely injured. Once through that first obstacle and in to the hallway I had to sidestep the cabinet and make a sharp right to get into the bathroom. Taking that corner too fast or too tightly could be disastrous.

The weather outside this morning was, to say the least, a bit wet. Once I got inside what I thought was the relative safety of the bathroom, I really had to run. But no matter how fast I ran, I still ended up getting soaked. I was drenched through to the skin. After drying myself off I ended up getting sprayed by some weird smelling substance, I had to move quickly before I ended up getting covered in the stuff. Then it’s back into the hallway again where I have to perform a sharp turn to the left and sidestep the cabinet again.

I’m really psyched up by now, confidence is building up but I cannot allow myself to lose concentration. There’s another one of those narrow gaps approaching and it’s coming up fast. I have no option but to slow down and watch what I’m doing. This doorway is slightly different from the last one, as I get through I have to swerve to make sure I don’t collide with the bookcase, then swerve again to get back on course. Very tricky.

Then comes the bit that separates the men from the mice. A hard 90 degree turn to the left while manoeuvring through a narrow doorway, made even more dangerous if the floor is wet, but I have no option, I have to go through. What is on the other side of that doorway is desperately needed. I find that extra burst of energy and push myself just that little bit harder. I have to be careful though, some days I have made this journey and the door frame has jumped out and attacked me. Today I got lucky and got in without any mishaps. But then comes more problems. There’s no room to turn around!

With one hand holding on tight to the freshly made goodies that I went in there for in the first place, I have to reverse out through that narrow opening. Fortunately I have a clear run at it and there are no corners involved this time. I get through the gap and perform a handbrake turn so that I am facing in the opposite direction and make my way to the other side of the room. There’s a couple of minor swerves as I avoid the few obstacles that are in my way, but I eventually get to my desk where I can sit down and enjoy the cup of tea that I’ve just made.

So, take note all you people complaining about getting to work, you’re not the only ones having problems getting to where you need to be. There are other journeys that are just as stressful as yours. (And if you believe that load of rubbish, you'll believe anything). Have a nice day at work everyone.